


'Cause This Reflection Can't Be Me

by changingsmile



Series: A3! Rarepair Week 2020 [3]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Rarepairs Week 2020, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25287370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingsmile/pseuds/changingsmile
Summary: “Wow, we must be the perfect couple! Connected in both body and mind y’know~” despite trying to keep up his usual light tone, Omi could hear weariness at the edges of Kazunari’s voice. “But if we both have the same issue, what do we do now?”A3! Rarepair Week Day 3Prompt: One's Strength/One's Fear
Relationships: Fushimi Omi/Miyoshi Kazunari
Series: A3! Rarepair Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829380
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	'Cause This Reflection Can't Be Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Way Too Far by Phony Ppl

Completing rehashing your personality was difficult. But how could making a new life for yourself be easy? To reform the core of your being, to break the habit of simply being yourself, to change the essence of who you are, how could any of this be easy? It wasn't, but it had to be done. Things were better this way. But sometimes the echoes of your past self can be heard through others. 

_ You’ve changed so much since highschool. _

_ I-is that /the/ Crazy Wolf! _

_ You look like a completely different person. _

These interactions put a hiccup in a smooth day of pretending. They leave you off kilter temporarily transporting you to bygone days. You are left to wonder if what they saw in the past was the true you or if what those close to you see now is. Your grip on your sense of self loosens and you spiral. Which left Omi to where he was now, mindlessly chopping vegetables at odd hours of the night. In part to meal prep but mostly to distract his racing mind. It wasn’t working. 

“Ah…” 

Blood bubbled on the tip of his finger. The pain had barely registered. Omi checked to make sure no blood got on the food as he stuck his finger in his mouth. When he saw it was all clear he headed to wash his wound and grab a bandaid. On his way, he ran into Kazunari. He forgot that he was coming back late and..had he been crying? 

“Kazunari, are you okay?”

Startled Kazunari wiped his face in an attempt to hide that he had been crying, but it was no use. Omi’s cut was long forgotten.

“Aha, Omimi! I totes wasn’t expecting you to be up..” 

“I was prepping meals for tomorrow, but more importantly have you been cry-”

“Your finger!” Kazunari deflected. “You’re bleeding. Don’t worry about me!” 

He ushered Omi towards the bathroom. 

“But-”

“I won’t hear it!”

“Fine. But don’t think you can get away, wait for me in the common area.” 

Seeing Kazunari finally resign to his fate, Omi left to take care of his wound. He returned to see Kazunari picking at his nails on the couch. Omi sat next to him and lifted a hand to cradle Kazunari’s head and pull him into his shoulder. Without hesitation Kazunari wrapped his arms around Omi’s waist and made himself comfortable. Silently, Omi ran fingers through bleached hair smiling at Kazunari’s pleased hum. 

“So want to tell me what happened?” 

This was simple. Focusing on others’ issues was what Omi preferred. Guiltily he recognized that he was using Kazunari to keep from wallowing himself. 

Omi felt Kazunari take a deep breath. 

“Do you...ever feel like you’re living a lie?” 

Omi stiffened. So much for ignoring his own issues. His change in demeanor must have alarmed the other. 

“Sorry, that’s like a super weird question! I should just go to bed.” 

Despite saying this Kazunari made no move to get up. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. We happened to be having similar thoughts tonight.” 

“Wow, we must be the perfect couple! Connected in both body and mind y’know~” despite trying to keep up his usual light tone, Omi could hear weariness at the edges of Kazunari’s voice. “But if we both have the same issue, what do we do now?”

Omi struggled with a response. Despite all his parading around with the false image of "Mom" he lacked any of the life experience. Someone in their early 20s shouldn't be expected to have all the answers, but that didn't assuage his guilt of being unable to help his distressed boyfriend.  _ His boyfriend.  _ Maybe his first mistake was trying to mother someone he was dating. Still, it was frustrating. His tongue lay useless in his mouth suddenly feeling too heavy to move. The longer he was unable to respond the more visibly upset he got. Omi began blinking rapidly once he felt tears oncoming. If he and Kazunari were truly connected as he said, then no wonder it was his turn to cry tonight, he thought wryly. His efforts to not let any fall were futile and he helplessly watched a tear fall and splash on Kazunari's forehead. 

Kazunari looked up as he wiped it away.

"Omi..!" For Kazunari to not call him by his usual nickname, the shock must have been a lot. Unsurprising, since Omi hadn't allowed himself to cry in front of anyone in a long time. His body was taking the chance to let it out now, because after the first drop, Omi's eyes had a steady stream flowing from them. He barely registered Kazunari changing their positions so Omi was cradled against his chest instead. 

"You're allowed to have fears and insecurities too, Omimi." The return to his nickname was comforting. "We all rely on you a lot...I rely on you a lot. It must've been hard." Right when he was starting to quiet his sobs, Kazunari had to say that. It was unfair. Right now he was supposed to be doing this for other yet here he was crying and sobbing and being comforted in a way he hadn't been since his mother's death. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as he thought. Even when he was still part of his gang he had a tendency to bury his emotions...no...even before that. Omi never had been forthcoming of his own frustrations and insecurities. He always needed to fulfill a role for those around him and that required him to be an emotional pillar. But there had been cracks in the foundation for as long as he could remember. 

Allowing himself to crumble in Kazunari's arms was a step in the right direction. It was unlikely that he would be able to be completely emotionally open after just one night, but working towards it wouldn't be impossible. The ability and strength to adapt and change..isn't that what made him and Kazunari human? If they both hadnt made the choice to become new people, would they be where they were right now? Omi was unsure if he would ever completely shake the feeling that he was living a fabricated life, but if that fabrication gave him Kazunari and Mankai it couldnt be all bad. 

_ Ah, that's my answer. _

"I can respond now." 

"Hm?" 

Kazunari pulled back just enough so both of their puffy eyes could look at each other. 

"The answer to your question. I figured it out...maybe." 

"Wow, that was a really good cry then! Usually when I cry all I get is a headache after." 

It felt good to laugh after crying. Yeah he would never want to trade this. 

"Living a lie is okay if I'm living it with you."

"That's pretty romantic, Omimi, but I'm unsure how…" 

"When I think of going back to how I was, I realize that we never would've been together. Our choices lead us to meeting here so knowing that..." 

Omi watched as realization blossomed across Kazunari's features. Even in the lowlight he could see pink dusting his cheeks. 

"Knowing that, you can't make yourself fully regret your choices...I see. Although, a romance between a nerd and a biker gang leader is pretty inste-worthy…" 

Omi lightly pinched Kazunari's side.

"Haha, sorry ~ Sorry~ But that's seriously unfair, this was supposed to be my chance to help you out, Omimi! You still managed to come out with an answer and a romantic one at that!" 

Before Kazunari could grumble more, Omi gently pressed their lips together. He kept the kiss short and sweet, successfully silencing the younger. 

"Better luck next time." It was said teasingly, but if it was with Kazunari, Omi could learn to open up. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Omi your vegetables


End file.
